God's Will and The Wisdom of a Dwarf

Why is "God's Will" such a driving force behind our decisions in life? Sometimes even small things can turn into an anxious, nail biting dilemma. Tonight, a friend of mine asked, "How do we know when it's God speaking; his will and all that..." - I'm paraphrasing. That's the jest of it. We went around the diner table and offered our human understanding of such a divine concept. Each of us knew that we didn't have a solution or an easy answer. We're all in process and I'm not sure there is an arrival at all. But it's really got me thinking; why do we even want to know what to do next? Are we wired that way as Americans, as Christians, or is there something in human nature that just wanders, "What do I do next?" and something else (deeper within) that says, "What am I SUPPOSED to do next?" Why do we ask these questions?

I had to work late, so I headed to the cafe - It's Ramadan here, so they're open super late. I brought along my copy of the Two Towers and thought I'd read a bit. Then smack dab in the first chapter of this book, the wisdom of Gimli spoke to me very profoundly. Boromir has been slain, the haflings have been taken by Orcs, and Aragorn is trying to read all the signs to figure out what to do next...to figure out what they are SUPPOSED to do...

*illustration by: Terry A. Ernest

"Well, we have no time to ponder riddles, " said Gimli. "Let us bear Boromir away!"
"But after that we must guess the riddles, if we are to choose our course rightly," answered Aragorn.
"Maybe there is no right choice," said Gimli

Maybe there is no right choice. Aragorn is seeking answers to the riddles that are laid present before him to decide the right way. Don't we do the same in life? We look at what's around us, the pros, the cons, what our friends think, what the Bible says, and to top it all off, we've got the burning bush question of "What do you want me to do God?" But, as Gimli brings up in the face of all these riddles...what if there was no right or wrong choice? What if God is more interested in us knowing WHO he is, rather than WHAT he's doing. Graham Cooke once said...

"There is no security in what God is going to do next. There is only security in who God is. What God does is unpredictable. You never know what he's going to do next, but who he is never changes."

There is a certain comfort in the gloom of Gimli's answer to Aragorn's urge to find the next right path quickly. Knowing that there may not be a "right" way, somehow forces me to find security not in what, but in who. The companions may not choose a "right" or "wrong" way, but at least they will choose it together. In the end, I wonder how many nights are waisted in us trying to figure out what we should do! In Brennan Mannings words "Don't should on yourself."

Now the balance to all this is simple...there are still decisions we have to make. Do I marry him or her? Do we buy this house or move to this city? Do I take this job? Should we adopt? All of which our hearts cry out for an answer. And rightfully so. Many of our questions reflect the decisions that surround the desires of our hearts, and as as Christians we desperately want to make sure that our desires have some supernatural stamp of approval from heaven before enjoying them.

So, I'm not saying that we should never contemplate or seek out answers or ask God, "What's next, what should I do?" What I am saying, is that if we prematurely put values and barometers on things - labels like "good choice" or "bad choice," or if we get our stomaches in knots because we just don't want to do the "wrong thing" we'll never find security in our decisions. But if we find our security in God's good nature, we'll have the confidence to step out into any direction - even if we don't know the way.

What's Important in Life

So, I asked God a really stupid question. "Will you please show me what is important in life?" Be careful what you ask for. I know what is supposed to be important in life, but often times, I don't prioritize or live those things out. For example, I know that my wife is more important than my job, but I don't always show that with my behavior and attitude.

We were gearing up to move to Morocco. A friend of mine, Clark asked me what would be a "win" upon returning after our year spent overseas. I thought about it and answered, "A win for me would be to come home knowing what is really important in life." Thus, the question turned into prayer.

God has a funny way of showing us things. We left for Morocco with a good salary under my belt. Plenty of money for morocco and enough to even travel to Europe a bit. We were trying for a baby, we were both excited about moving, things were on the up and up. Then disappointment knocked on our door. We had a miscarriage, my salary was cut down more than 2/3, our apartment situation ended up being a little different than what we thought, We both kept getting sick, I had to work more (to make up for the difference financially), and to top it all off; I left Robin's Nikon D40 digital SLR Camera on the train from Fes to Meknes this past weekend. A camera which I bought for her by selling a couple of my guitars and all my recording equipment.

So I have to wonder, "God, are you answering my prayer?" It hurts like hell, but maybe it's actually heaven? Perhaps God is stripping me away from things. Perhaps he's trying to tell me that money is not important, and neither are cameras for that matter. Maybe he's saying that having another baby isn't important or that where we live doesn't matter that much either...but I don't think that's his character at all.

No, this is not a jaded entry where I write about how bad God is. It's quite the opposite. He is a fighter, and he smiles. He's a happy God who delights in his children. God LOVES to provide for me. He hates that I left the camera on the train, and he wept when we lost another baby. He is a God who intimately cares about us stumping our toe or being too late to catch the train because we couldn't find a taxi.

So, no. I won't go there. He IS answering my prayer, but it's not HIM who's CAUSING hurt and disappointment. The disappointing things are happening because he allows it. Yes, he is soverareign, etc. but he is also good. He is not a God that thinks pulling the rug from underneith his children is funny. He's a God who answers prayer, and he's the God who says, "What's important in life is you finding security in who I truly am and what I'm truly like. Not in what I do or what I allow to happen." As Graham Cooke once said,
"There is no security in what God is doing. You never know what he's going to do next. He's unpredictable. There's no security in that place. There is only security in WHO GOD IS. In his nature; what he is really, really, really, like. And God is good."

I'm finding as I grow older, that our circumstances in life are neutral for the most part. They just ARE. It is us, that assigns them meaning. We put tags on our days like: Good, Bad, Okay. We decide if something was right or wrong, or good or bad, or hurtful or healing. My situation right now sucks. That's the meaning I'm assigning to it. But can't I dwell in sucky circumstances with a good and happy God that is more than willing to help me, comfort me, and give me the occasional high five?

I will continue to pray for God to show me what is important in life. I will also pray for a baby, for a camera, and for money too - I think he'd love to give us all of those things and to "restore the years that the locus has eaten."

Diner Table Trick #1 - Lemon Teeth

So, you're sitting at the table with a bunch of your friends. Conversations come to a lull and everyone is thinking about what everyone else is about to say that might start the new string of conversation. What I'm about to unveil to you will entirely ruin that moment. Not only will it ruin the 7 min lull, but it will completely destroy it into something that will either release laughter from your friends or total embarrassment from you. I give you...(drum roll)...Lemon Teeth.

STEP 1 - Order a wedge of lemon for your water or lime for your favorite Mexican beer.

STEP 2 - Peel the wedge. Take your knife (from the table - have to say that for all you boyscouts out there). Flip the lemon wedge over (white side up) and cut 5 straight lines through the peel leaving about 1/8 inch of peel in tact along the top rim.

STEP 3 - Invert the peel and place it between your teeth and your upper lip. Make sure the white side is facing outward. Now wait for the laughs!

I'm not sure where I got this from or when I started doing it, but it seems like something I've just always done and known about. So, enjoy the fun and remember guys, it can win a girls heart (well almost)...especially if that girl is a few feet away in a high chair!